


What Is Necessary

by GhostyGooGirl



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anal Sex, Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Angst, Gay Sex, KakaNaru - Freeform, M/M, SasuNaru - Freeform, Underage Sex, Violence, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-23 03:30:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3752833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostyGooGirl/pseuds/GhostyGooGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knew that if he decided on what felt right rather than what was necessary then he would destroy and shatter both his and Naruto's worlds. What he was about to do would be for Naruto's happiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
> 
> Pairings: KakaNaru
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
> 
> Come bug me on [Tumblr](http://damn-i-ship-that-pairing.tumblr.com/). I'll answer any questions you guys have about my fics/sin/Naruto in general.

"N-Naruto..."

The jounin gasped, tightening his grip on the beautiful young boy sprawled out beneath him as his hips jerked one last time, spilling his seed deep within the blissfully tight heat of his lover.

He only just managed to stop himself from collapsing completely atop the young boy - who was panting heavily, only just descending from his own orgasm induced high.

Silver hair brushed against a whiskered cheek as the older of the two leant over and nuzzled the blond's sensitive neck with a feral growl, possessively inhaling his scent like it would be the last time.  _Mine._  Kakashi nipped lightly at the tender flesh, eliciting a moan from his student. Oh how he wished he could mark his own territory. That's what the boy was... _his_  territory and no one else's. Only Kakashi's. As he liked to believe at least for a little while...but as much as he wished he could mark and claim this boy as his own so that everyone would  _know. Know_  that the blonde was owned by  _him_ , he couldn't. Not unless he never wished to see the kid again.

"Sensei?"

Kakashi didn't lift his head at the questioning tone, instead he carried on with his ministrations, humming to let his lover know he'd been acknowledged.

There was a hesitant pause, filling the atmosphere around them with something heavy, something unsaid. Frowning, Kakashi lifted his head up to look the boy in the eyes; his amazing sky blue eyes that sparkled even within the limited light of the small room. His young kitsune blushed and shifted his gaze at the intensity of the look that the man was directing at him, and only him. Like Naruto was the only thing that existed in this time and space, like Naruto was Kakashi's world. And Naruto  _was_  Kakashi's world.  _Is_  his world.

The duos bodies shuddered against each other as the silver haired man closed his eyes and pulled out of the blonde, his own semen leaking onto the bed sheets beneath Naruto. Sighing, he shifted his weight so that he could cup the boys face lightly, coaxing him to look Kakashi in the eyes instead of over his shoulder.

"I love you Naruto."

The breath caught in Naruto's chest at the simple confession.

"I love you too sensei..." The blonde sighed heavily, contemplating whether he should say the rest of what was on his mind.

Kakashi seemed to sense Naruto's internal struggle, so he waited patiently for the blonde to spill what was troubling him. After what seemed like an eternity he shifted his body against the one pinned beneath him, reminding his student that he was in fact still here, never averting his gaze away from the younger of the two.

Naruto snapped his eyes back to Kakashi's, once again dragged back to reality. Focusing on a mismatched pair of orbs.

"It's just that...well whenever we do this...it's like..." He grimaced, trying to put what he thought into words. He was never good with words. "It's like it's the last time, you always act like it'll be the last time between us...I just, it kinda worries me y'know? That you'll leave, that you're thinking of leaving me and I don't want you to leave me, I could never live without you, not after everything...I just..." The blond could feel the familiar sting of tears pricking at his eyes. "I could never go back to how it was, before all of this...and sometimes I think that that's what you want, that you're contemplating it every time we're together. I'd understand why you would, I mean I could completely understand because I'm your student, my age, becau-"

The blond's rambling was cut off by a pair of soft lips against his own. He couldn't help but sigh at the blissful contact, visibly relaxing his previously stiff posture against the well known Copy ninja; his own sensei...his lover.

Kakashi ended the kiss first, leaning back far enough to once again look at the boy. He wished so much that things could just be left as they were. That things could be different. That the two of them could just  _be_. Be left to live their life together, to be accepted, which he knew was not a possibility. Kakashi wished for so much, but there was no point in wishing - in daydreaming, because things would never be the same again. He knew, and he knew that if he decided on what felt  _right_  rather than what was  _necessary_  then he would destroy and shatter both his and Naruto's worlds. What he was about to do would be for Naruto's happiness, for his student to move on with his life like none of this had ever happened. And it would truly break what was left of Kakashi's heart. Naruto was the last ray of sunshine left in his life and he was sure he was going to lose it. He was certain.

"Naruto, you need to know that I'll always love you, no matter what happens between us, no matter what situation we find each other in in the future. I will always love you and no amount of anything will ever change that."

He wiped at the tears streaming down Naruto's cheeks before shutting his eyes and pressing his forehead against the boys. Neither spoke for what felt like an eternity, just enjoying each others company and for Kakashi, reveling in the intimacy of what would be the last time with the person that was most precious to him.

Finally they broke apart when Kakashi felt he was ready to do what would be the biggest regret of his lifetime. Pulling back, he met Naruto's eyes for the last time as lovers and reluctantly activated his sharingan. Before the blond knew what had hit him, he passed out and slumped almost lifelessly back onto the mattress.

Kakashi fought back the tears that threatened to spill as he looked at his student. That was all Naruto would be now...just his student. He had wiped all of the boys memories, locked them up securely somewhere deep within the recesses of his mind, of what used to be between them. Not a single intimate memory would be left, the only person who would ever know their history would be Kakashi. And he was right; it truly did shatter his heart into a million pieces.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
> 
> Pairings: KakaNaru
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

"Everything is prepared for tomorrow evening. You are to meet the clan elders at the temple at 20:00 hours sharp. Don't be late."

"Yes lady Tsunade"

"And I assume you have become well acquainted with the traditional marital ritual you will be participating in? I don't want any slip ups, this is an important opportunity for the village Kakashi, their clan is very wealthy - both in money and knowledge. I want them on our side if the shit hits the fan and all hell breaks lose with this possible upcoming war. Anything could happen and I'll be damned if I'm going to let this opportunity pass us by."

"Yes lady Tsunade."

"Good."

The blonde haired Hokage eyed the sturdy figure stood rigidly in front of her. She knew the man wasn't ready for such commitment, that's if he ever would be, she knew he wasn't happy with the decision that had practically forced him into a marriage that would benefit everyone else apart from him. But that's what shinobi were there for, they had to be willing to lay their life down for the village. Kakashi had no choice.

All of it was politics really, the Auyubi clan had a young lady who was of age to be married off and Kakashi was of great interest to them, specifically requesting him as a candidate for a marriage proposal to the head of the clans daughter - Aya. They took interest not only because of his renown reputation as an elite ninja but also because of his heritage.

This way both the village and Auyubi clan benefit from each other, the young lady gains a respectable husband and Kakashi has the chance to pass on his genes; shinobi didn't have a long life expectancy after all and Kakashi was already 27; the council declared that his genes were too valuable to the village for him to 'waste'. And on that trail of thought alone they declared it compulsory for him to raise a child within the first two years of his marriage to Aya. The consequences should he refuse didn't look too nice either. The council were sneaky little pricks when they wanted to be, it seemed they always got what they wanted one way or another.

As a person Tsunade felt for Kakashi, she really did, she couldn't imagine what she'd do if their roles were reversed but as Hokage these were the decisions she had to make daily. It was necessary for the progression and protection of the village. She couldn't stray from the belief that the village came before everyone else otherwise things would become dangerous...God forbid she was allowed to  _feel_  anymore.

Anyway Kakashi was single, it wasn't like there was a significant other in his life otherwise she would have heard of them by now. He was single and free and an elite shinobi with an excellent heritage, why not marry him off? He'd had years to decide on a partner. She tried her best to shake off the pity she felt for him; it wouldn't help anyone.

Instead she reached into her desk drawer and pulled out her emergency bottle of sake for stressful times like these, along with two glasses. Pouring the liquid into each cup, she grabbed one and handed it to the copy-nin.

"Congratulations Kakashi."

Kakashi didn't say anything, instead he slipped down his mask and gulped down the bittersweet alcohol, enjoying the burning sensation as the substance slid down his throat. Placing the cup back onto the Hokage's desk, he pulled up his mask, nodded and made his leave by turning on his heel and slamming the door behind him.

Tsunade made no move to stop him, instead she stared at his retreating back with a sad half smile adorning her pretty features.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
> 
> Pairings: KakaNaru
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

"CONGRATULATIONS KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Sakura bellowed as she jogged towards the three other members of her team. "I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!"

Out of the corner of his eye, the copy-nin could see Sasuke sigh out of annoyance and face away from the pinkette and his other student (who he tried his best to refrain thinking about) trying to recover from the almost heart attack from Sakura's sudden, yet loud appearance, while simultaneously giving him a strange look.

As for Kakashi, he really,  _really_  didn't want to talk about or even acknowledge his recent marriage to Aya. It wasn't that she was a horrible person, far from it actually, but it was more the fact that he resented being stuck by her side when all he wanted to be by was someone else entirely.

So hiding his emotions as usual, pretending that this whole setup wasn't getting to him in the least he feigned a smile, said a quick "thanks" and set his cute little students on a very productive mission; cleaning out the nearby stables in the boiling heat of Konoha's summer.

Even though the hours seemed to pass like days, the mission had gone relatively well considering that Kakashi had had to sit and watch his little blonde student stroll around topless and sweaty right in front of Kakashi's eyes. One thing was for sure though, the jounin had done a good job on the boy; he couldn't remember one thing about their history together.

It had been hard but he'd survived the first day, one thing at a time he'd told himself. Even though every minute apart from Naruto was numbing him, he could feel his passion dwindle and the familiar feeling of despair seeping into his bones; very similar to how he'd felt a few years ago.

He had to stop thinking about it, he didn't have the guts to ask the Hokage to assign him to a different team, as much as he needed to get over Naruto, he wanted to be there for him, to make sure he'd be ok. And maybe it would make his life a little bit more bearable while he could still see those bright, cheerful blue eyes looking back at him each day.

He had to head home to his new wife, he was required by law now to raise children within two years of his marriage. He would refrain to do so for as long as possible. Just in case.  _'Just in case what Kakashi?'_  He sighed and opened the door to his new home.

* * *

It had been strange living with another being, he had to admit. Aya was lovely and kind, she made sure he was looked after, made him dinner, cleaned the house while he was away and she never fussed about him doing what he needed to do. She was a good conversationalist and very polite but she didn't interfere with his business and knew when he needed time to himself. In a way he suspected she wasn't all pleased with the marriage herself but much like him didn't really see cause to make a fuss about it. They each had their own duty and they both knew they would fulfill it to the end.

Yes. She was a lovely woman. Overall an excellent house wife, someone he could have probably been happy with in another life. But she was the complete opposite of  _him_. He yearned to be the center of Naruto's attention again, yearned to hold him more and more each day. It made him feel like shit and it made him feel guilty to be having these thoughts when he was with Aya.

It had been weeks since the marriage and life as usual had moved on. Kakashi was grateful that he no longer had to put up with people constantly congratulating him on his marriage every time he walked down the street. He much preferred the scowls of his female admirers over the happy smiles and pats on the back.

Now though, he could carry on with his life in peace, mingling with the few jounin he had befriended over the years and taking his free time in between his duties as both a husband and a shinobi. However, it seemed that wherever he went he could rarely get away from Konoha's blond menace. Even if the boy couldn't see Kakashi, Kakashi could see him, running around, causing trouble.

This particular time though, Kakashi had had a few drinks and found himself stumbling his way down the street from a night out with Asuma, Kurenai, Tenzou and Gai. The sun had long disappeared below the horizon and the only things lighting the pathway were the dim street lanterns hanging above the stony pavement and the warm glow leaking out from peoples homes. It made Kakashi feel quite nostalgic with this being a regular path both Naruto and he would take while walking his student home.

Yes. Kakashi was walking to Naruto's apartment, just because he thought he deserved to reminisce after so long of trying to forget. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe he was just a masorchist. Or maybe it was because it was the fourteenth anniversary of his sensei's death; in other words, Naruto's birthday.

He didn't plan on speaking to his former lover, instead he was planning on sneaking the card he'd bought earlier under the door for the boy to see in the morning. His plan, however, didn't really go to plan when he heard whispering coming from around the corner, just outside of Naruto's run down apartment.

"Shhh, someone's coming teme!"

There was an annoyed grunt followed by footsteps making their way towards the stairway that Kakashi had stopped on. Apparently he hadn't been as quiet as he thought in his drunken state. He carried on his ascent of the stairs to seem less suspicious, he wasn't there to spy on Naruto anyway. Before he could reach the top step, a familiar figure emerged from around the corner, dark eyes and raven locks. It shouldn't have been as much of a surprise to the silver haired man as it was.

Naruto and Sasuke were both team mates and as much as it came across that they hated each other, that was far from the case with these two. In a way, it was a love, hate relationship. Kakashi had always respected that when he was with Naruto, even though it did rouse his jealousy now and again. Only then, Naruto was there to reassure him, now however, that was not the case.

Kakashi nodded to his student as they passed, he could see that Sasuke had scowled at his sensei's sudden appearance but that rare sight of emotion was quickly trampled down before he gave a polite, yet stern nod. The one thing he hated about Sasuke was that he never failed to remind Kakashi of himself in his younger days.

Reaching the top step and making his way down the hall, he spotted blond spiky locks and a bright orange jump suit.

"Hey sensei!" Naruto waved, beaming at Kakashi. "What brings you here eh?" He questioned, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his head, still smiling. It filled Kakashi with joy at the sight of the boys beautiful smile, only, there was something off.

"Ah, well can I not check up on my favourite student now and then?" He gave a forced chuckle. "I also bought you something for your Birthday," Kakashi reached into his supply pouch and handed Naruto the card he'd contemplated giving the kid all day.

"Happy Birthday Naruto."

The blond smelled different, he no longer had Kakashi's scent mingled with his own, instead he smelled of  _Sasuke_. It made Kakashi's eye twitch with the effort of restraining his anger and prossessive nature towards Naruto. Naruto had to have been spending a lot of time with the Uchiha, or maybe they'd recently...he swallowed hard, he hated the thought. Hated it with every fibre of his being, yet he was the one that brought this on himself. He was to blame, not Naruto. Naruto didn't know any different.

His body must have betrayed what he was feeling because his beloved student now had a frown plastered across his face, no longer the bright beaming smile from a minute ago.

"Are you ok sensei?" He seemed genuinely worried.

"Maa, it's fine Naruto, I'm just tired is all," Kakashi's smile was strained.

"Long day huh?"

"Yeah," where the conversation had once seemed to flow easily, it no longer did, having been replaced with small talk and patches of awkward silence. "Anyway, um, I think I'm gunna head home, y'know, stuff to do..." Naruto nodded his head, he looked momentarily disappointed before once again smiling at the copy-nin. "Yeah, thanks for the card Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi turned to leave, book in hand once again, even though it was too dark to read, it was purely there to comfort him. "It's no problem, I'll see you tomorrow hmm?"

"Yeah! See ya tomorrow sensei."

How could things change so much is such a short time? Kakashi had always pondered such a question, nothing ever seemed to be a constant in his life...other than the bad things of course.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.  
> Pairings: KakaNaru  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

As it so happened, he didn't see Naruto the next day, instead he'd been handed an urgent S-rank mission to the land of Lightning. He had been there for a total of 32 days and was he glad that  _that_  was over. It was a relief to finally be back in his own territory after spending so long around ANBU; he had completely forgotten how emotionally reserved they were. He could say that he was exceptionally happy (in Kakashi terms) to have his own bed back again but it was who was sleeping next to him that he wasn't so delighted about.

The next time he saw Naruto was while he was off duty. Kakashi was grocery shopping for Aya, who was currently sick in bed with the flu. As harsh as it seemed, Kakashi tried his best to keep away from his wife as much as possible, mainly due to not wanting to be stuck indoors for the next week and also because it inevitably lead to the discussion of children and when they would be trying exactly. It seemed Aya, her entire clan, the village elders and Tsunade were laying the pressure on thick, knowing how well Kakashi could avoid something if he so wished.

As it happened, he bumped straight into the blond while he was lost in thought, his heart lurching when he came face to face with the smiley, outgoing boy.

"Hi Kakashi-sensei!"

"Uh, Naruto," he'd only just managed to find his voice after such an unexpected meeting.  _'How pathetic Kakashi, you're a man not a fucking five year old.'_

The blond looked at him oddly, apparently he'd never seen Kakashi so off guard; or at least he could no longer remember.

"What ya doing sensei?" He beamed.

The jounin looked down at the basket of food he was carrying and then back up to Naruto. It seemed pretty obvious to him, also taking into account their surroundings. But this was Naruto and maybe he was just trying to make conversation with his sensei who he hadn't seen in over a month. That was good...wasn't it?

He cleared his throat and lifted the basket of groceries to emphasis his point. "Just shopping."

Naruto frowned. "Is that for your wife?"

What was with the frown? Kakashi missed the smile from before.

"Yea I guess," he knew he should say more but what could he really say without sounding 'out of character' or inadvertently bring forth a memory that Naruto had been forced to forget. That was partially why he limited his contact with his student. That and because he knew he wouldn't be able to keep away if the two of them got too close again.

"Oh-"

"She's got the flu so..." He shrugged, not knowing what else to say.

"Right," Naruto turned to the side, averting his gaze from the older man. He strolled a little way down the isle behind Kakashi. For a moment the jounin thought that that was the conversation over and done with until the boy made his way back and chucked something into Kakashi's basket.

"Here sensei, it's for your wife, it should help, I know it helps me when i'm ill," He gave Kakashi a sad smile. Why was he so melancholy while he was around Kakashi? One minute he was happy the next he was sad, he was sure Nauto was never like this before. Before he could reply, Naruto had left Kakashi behind and jogged out of the store to meet with his other two team mates. It was strange but he thought he had actually seen Sasuke smile at the blond. Maybe it was a trick of the eye. Or maybe not but Kakashi didn't like thinking about it.

Looking down at the packet of cold and flu tablets that Naruto had chucked into his basket, brought back a memory of when he'd brought these over for Naruto when the kid had been too ill to do anything else. He tried not to think about how he'd also cooked soup and they'd spent the day together snuggled up on the sofa watching a movie, covered in Naruto's duvet. He cringed, he certainly wasn't about to do that with Aya, making her soup and looking out for her general well-being when he was around would be as much as he'd do. He limited physical contact with her as much as he could. When it came to sex he saw it as more of a chore than a pleasure, purely for reproduction with no emotion attached to it whatsoever. Once the deed was done, there would be no cuddling in bed, not even any prolonged conversation. Usually he'd feel too guilty and head out after having a shower.

He was cruel, Aya deserved someone to treasure her for the lovely person that she was, she didn't deserve to be stuck with someone who could never love her the way she wanted to be loved. He could hear her crying silently next to him at night when she thought he was asleep. He felt like the absolute prick he knew he was.

It made him sick to his stomach when he knew he could roll over and comfort her but why should she accept his comfort when he made no other movement to help her feel anymore loved day to day. No; it was wrong to give her false hope that maybe with enough time he'd come to love her. Kakashi knows that no such day will come.

Before he knew it he'd payed for the food and had arrived back home. The day dragged on slowly after that, having made his wife soup and then gone out to meet with Gai for a few hours. soon after he decided on finding a quiet tree somewhere to relax and read. As much as he disliked to admit it to others, he hated having days off, he never knew what to do with himself anymore, it seemed he didn't fit in anywhere other than at work.

Once the sun had gone down and he made his way back home yet again. Peeking into his shared bedroom, he saw that his wife was fast asleep, not wanting to wake her, he headed to the sofa and tried to get as comfy as he could get on a hard leather, not particularly cushioned surface.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.  
> Pairings: KakaNaru  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

Three months later found Kakashi silently witnessing Naruto's and Sasuke's 'first kiss' as it seemed. He had assumed there was something between them that night on Naruto's birthday but apparently he had assumed wrong. He had been jealous but here, now had confirmed the suspicions he'd been having since that day and it had hit him like a ton of bricks. To say it hurt would be an understatement, and the hurt did nothing but fuel the anger, jealousy, guilt, and sadness that had built up and up for months; the hate he felt for himself, for Sasuke, for everyone but never Naruto, not Naruto. The only thing he lived for was Naruto and now Naruto was gone. Gone forever, fated to be with the young, beautiful Uchiha and Kakashi was fated to live the rest of his life drowning in his own self pity and hatred. To be unloved and unlovable; if that's what the world wanted then that's what it would get. Everything he had held back until now had finally consumed his entire being and all the unpleasant thoughts and emotions whirled within him, fueled by rage.

So that is how he came to find himself dripping with blood, five dead enemy shinobi at his feet on a C-rank mission turned A, his innocent little students staring wide eye'd at him in horror. He didn't care, he was angry, burning with rage and jealousy that he knew he had no right to take out on either of the two boys on his team. His 'fuck it all' mentality had finally emerged when they'd been ambushed just outside of Fire country. He slaughtered their enemies not like they were human, but like they were pigs. He didn't think about how it would affect the three of his students, just that they needed to realize that being a shinobi wasn't all fun and games and that one day they too would have to kill or otherwise be killed. A part of him wished they hadn't experienced it like this but another part of him was receiving sick satisfaction that he had opened their eyes for them to see who he truly was; a cold blooded killer, not their weird, lazy, laid back sensei.

His smirk was hidden behind his blood soaked mask as he eyed each student over. Sasuke was trying his best to keep a calm facade but Kakashi could see straight through it. He was happy that the Uchiha was so rattled and was glad he had potentially mentally damaged the kid, that's if Itachi hadn't already done so. Sakura, he wasn't at all surprised to see, had tears streaming down her cheeks, she was barely holding it together. And Naruto, well he looked angry. That, Kakashi hadn't expect from the blond; he had expected shock, fear or disgust but not anger. No...Naruto  _was_  feeling all of the three things Kakashi had expected from him but anger prevailed as the most powerful. Anger directed at Kakashi by the feel of Naruto's chakra lashing out toward his teacher.

It was then that the full realization that he had most certainly lost Konoha three perfectly capable shinobi for no good reason, hit home. To get over the trauma and psychological damage of seeing the one person they put their trust in to never hurt them and to introduce them to shinobi life bit by bit, transform into a completely different person would probably take months to overcome. Perhaps he would lose them forever if they just couldn't handle it and decided to quit.

He felt awful for letting them witness unnecessary slaughter right before their eyes, what they saw in him for that short amount of time was what he had been when he was a lot younger. He was an idiot for letting his emotions control him, just because Naruto was finally happy with someone that wasn't him.

Bending down the jounin pulled one of his kunai out of one of the rouges throat and signaled for his team to follow. They were hesitant, putting as much distance as they were able between themselves and Kakashi. They were scared of him. When they get back to the village, he decided, he would resign as their sensei and ask to be put back into ANBU. It's where someone like himself belonged.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.  
> Pairings: KakaNaru  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

Eight months had passed since he last saw Naruto. After that fatefull mission, he had resigned from being a jounin sensei and his request to be put back into ANBU had regretfully been accepted by Tsunade. The months that had passed had turned him cold. Similarities to his younger self had emerged almost immediately after the first mission he had taken as an ANBU operative once again. People avoided him and conversation ceased when he walked down the halls at headquarters, he was someone to be feared, given the highest respect from his new team. Whispers that the famous 'cold blooded Kakashi' was once again back where he belonged. Did he like it? He no longer cared; his entire life had been merely a tool for the village to use, why should he care what they used him for? He would gladly die for the village.

He peered down at the frail, sleeping baby in his arms. His baby. She was beautiful; that he had to admit, and it was rare he saw beauty in things nowadays so when it did happen to appear he appreciated it while it lasted. Preferably before it was tainted with his very presence.

He was stood next to Aya. who was asleep on the crisp white bed next to him, in a private hospital room. He missed the birth, not that it really surprised him, he was sure Aya wasn't all that surprised either; he saw her once or twice a month now, rarely spending nights at home or even in the village anymore. She didn't even know he was here, he had been informed that his wife had given birth just before he was due to leave on an important mission, so here he was, stood in his full uniform, porcelain mask included, looking down at his sleeping baby. She had yet to be named, he would leave that to Aya, he didn't deserve to have a say in his own child's name.

Placing her gently back into the cot next to the bed, he stroked her cheek lightly, being careful not to harm her. Pulling his hand a way he gave her one last glance and promptly jumped out of the nearest window, off to complete his assignment. Perhaps this mission would be the end of him. He thought the same thing every time he left those gates.

* * *

It turns out that Kakashi survived, much to his disappointment. He returned home with one of the three of his team that had left; he didn't give a second thought to the ones that they had lost. He was exhausted having drained almost all of his chakra just getting back to the village, so he was dragging himself as best he could just to get home. It was the dead of night so no one was really around to see him, which he was glad of.

He was halfway home when he needed to stop for a minute, leaning up against the nearest brick wall, hidden in the shadows. He glanced up at the nearest building, grabbing his side as pain shot through his body. His ribs were probably cracked after being kicked into a tree during the mission. He made a mental note to move carefully in case he broke them, the man really would have to go to the hospital then. His vision finally focused properly on his surroundings and it was then that Kakashi realized he was outside of Naruto's apartment.  _Shit_. He'd managed to distract himself from the thoughts of the blond for months up until now. He wondered if Naruto even lived here anymore, for all he knew Naruto could have left the village or could even be dead. He cringed and it wasn't from the physical pain.

Attempting to start walking again only made his legs give out on him and he slumped to the ground, dust clinging to the patches of blood that soaked his uniform.

"You ok?" A familiar voice sounded from the wall above him. Kakashi mentally slapped himself for not even noticing there was someone else there. And not just someone, the one person he'd managed to avoid all this time. He hid his chakra signature as best he could, but he yearned to soak freely in Naruto's unique, warm chakra. It was dangerous thinking about that now, not in the unstable state he was in at the moment.

He looked above him at the blond haired boy, bright eyes gleamed even in the darkness. Kakashi had missed him so much. He was glad that he had his hood and the porcelain mask on, both to hide his identity and to hide the tears streaming down his cheeks. He hadn't even realized he was crying until now; he was amazed he could still cry.

"Yes," He replied with a sturdy voice that he was well versed in keeping formal, cold and emotionless. Kakashi's voice could instill fear into even the most hardened shinobi, but it didn't seem to phase Naruto. The kitsune jumped down off the wall to stand in front of Kakashi, offering his hand to help him up.

"You're not lookin' so good...this is just a guess but I don't think ANBU tend to hang around sitting under walls at night covered in blood unless they're injured," he smiled, still holding his hand out for Kakashi to accept. "But then again I could be wrong, I only ever see you guys stood up on roofs or hiding in the corners of Tsunade's office."

Kakashi, somehow, managed to drag himself to his feet without taking the help Naruto had offered. "You'd be surprised."

Naruto laughed out loud at the comment, not bothered a bit that the strange ANBU had refused his help.

"So what're you meant to be? Like a dog or something?" He reached out to tap the mask but had second doubts and retracted his hand back to his side.

"A hound," Kakashi said simply. He was exhausted and felt dizzy, he really wanted to head home, he didn't think he could handle talking to the source of both his pain and love at the moment. "Goodbye," he said bluntly and staggered in the direction of his home. Naruto didn't stop him, a part of Kakashi was disappointed about that but it wasn't like Naruto was going to invite some randomer into his home, especially not ANBU considering their reputation.

"You really should go to a hospital ya know!" Naruto called after him.

Kakashi just lifted his hand in a farewell. If he had turned around at that point he would have seen one of Naruto's famous smiles that Kakashi loved oh so much.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.  
> Pairings: KakaNaru  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

Four months had passed before he met Naruto once again. And yet again Kakashi was dressed in his ANBU attire, only this time he was guarding the village from inside the walls, keeping a silent lookout for any trouble. Though trouble itself found him in the form of an orange clad, blond boy.

"Hey it's you!" The boy shouted at Kakashi, even with a measly 5 feet between them. Usually it would make the silver haired man smile at Naruto's bubbliness but perhaps Kakashi had forgotten how to smile over the past year.

He nodded his acknowledgement, hoping that if he didn't converse with the blond, said person would disappear. Yet a small slice of him wished Naruto would stay for the rest of his shift. The kid never failed to make Kakashi feel two polar opposite emotions at once.

"Not big on talkin' eh?" Naruto smiled and plopped his bottom down on the rooftop next to Kakashi's feet. "Never mind! I bought ramen," he lifted the two packages up to show Kakashi with a gleeful look. "Want some?"

Kakashi shook his head, not really feeling the need to explain the reason why he refused.

The blond shrugged. "Oh well your loss, more for me!" He unwrapped the packages with childish glee, snapping the chopsticks and started gulping down the noodles bowl by bowl. Who would have thought that seeing his ex student eating ramen would be heart warming? The man walked silently away from the younger to the other side of the rooftop, he couldn't allow any emotion to dwindle back to life for Naruto.

How old was he now anyway? Fifteen, sixteen? It felt like it had been years and years since the day he had wiped Naruto's memory.

"Hey! What's your name anyway? I have to call you somethin' right?"

Kakashi peered over his shoulder at the boy still sitting on the roof, surrounded by bowls.

"I am not going to reveal my name to you so don't bother asking again."

Naruto's groan of disappointment lasted only a second before he was enthusiastically bouncing his way toward Kakashi.

"Hmmm, what about your age?"

Silence.

"Hair colour?"

More silence.

"Eye colour? Weight? Height? Do I know you? What abo-OUCH!"

Kakashi kicked Naruto in the side of the ankle, effectively toppling him over.

"I am not answering any questions that could lead you to revealing my identity, so please cease."

The blond pouted up at the man in the mask, rubbing his sore ankle. The pain didn't last long, however, because he was soon up on his feet again, clearly thinking up some suitable questions.

"Fine...what about your rank? What's your rank?"

The man wanted to sigh; Naruto never gave up did he?

"Captain."

"Awesome! I'm still a Genin, I took the Chunin exams but was never actually made Chunin, only Shikamaru was but he didn't even win the final battle!"

Naruto pouted again and crossed his arms, clearly jealous.

"I'm sure Shikamaru deserved to be promoted to Chunin, that is why he was selected to be so."

The blond sighed and uncrossed his arms, looking quite defeated.

"Yeah I guess so, he is pretty clever after all," he looked to the ground. "I just don't wanna be left behind y'know? Everyone seems so much better than me at everything, I try really hard but I never seem to get anywhere."

Kakashi furrowed his brow. Why wasn't Naruto achieving more? He knew that Naruto could easily surpass everyone on his team given the time and the right training. At this stage he should have been able to clear the Chunin exams with ease. If Kakashi had still been his sensei then...No. There was a reason he left.

"Perhaps your jounin sensei is not well quip to training you correctly."

The kid thought this over for a minute.

"I guess...though he spends a lot more time with Sakura than anyone else, even Sasuke is annoyed that he's not getting much attention when it comes to training. Though that teme just trains alone most of the time anyway. I can't really blame Yamato-sensei for not knowing how to train us right, he wasn't exactly our original sensei to be assigned to us."

He sat down on the edge of the rooftop, his legs dangling off the edge.

"I do miss Kakashi-sensei, he didn't even say goodbye, he just left."

There was a long silence as Naruto fiddled with the hem of his jacket, clearly straying deep into thought. Kakashi felt guilty for not letting the boy know it was him but their past was better left in the past. It was still nice to know that the teenager missed him, even if it wasn't the way that Kakashi wanted to be missed. When they'd returned home that day as their last time as team 7, he hadn't said a word to the three of his students.

Two of them had vanished in a matter of seconds out of, most probably fear, but the blond had stayed. They had glared at each other, more on Naruto's side than Kakashi's, neither really knew what to say and even if there had been something to say, it probably wouldn't have repaired the irrevocable damage that Kakashi had already caused. So instead he let Naruto glare him down and he'd simply walked away, no goodbye, no sorry; he'd just turned and left. He wasn't at all surprised the young Jinchuuriki hadn't called after him.

Kakashi sighed and though his cool exterior had been warmed only slightly from being around the person he loved most, he still had many walls that needed to be dissolved between them. There was no worry that that would be happening any time soon. He'd let the boy have some semblance of satisfaction that he'd gotten somewhere with him.

Bending down to sit next to Naruto, Kakashi patted his shoulder reassuringly. It was a poor attempt at comfort but it was more than any of his other comrades had received from him in a very long time.

"I'm sure it was for the best."

Naruto lifted his head to look into the eyes of the man sat next to him, frowning.

"Perhaps"

Naruto didn't look away, so instead Kakashi turned his head to look towards the setting sun. A comfortable silence stretched out between the two of them, the orange light spilling over both of their forms. Konoha always had the best sunsets. Kakashi hadn't realized how much he'd missed this. Just being around Naruto, even in silence, relaxed him so completely he could curl up to the boy and just sleep. If only that were a possibility.

"You can call me Hound."

Naruto snapped his head in the direction of the voice. His bright smile warming Kakashi's heart once again.

_'I love you Naruto.'_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.  
> Pairings: KakaNaru  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

'Why does this shit always happen to me?' Kakashi pondered as he stood staring at the two people in front of him. One happened to be his wife and the other an unknown man whom seemed extremely comfortable lounging naked in Kakashi's bed; or well he had been until Kakashi had walked in.

People would expect that said Jounin would be raging at the man before him, threatening him with his life. That he would be pissed at his wife, that they'd talk about it later. But the truth was, Kakashi wasn't even angry. How could he be when this man probably saw his wife more than Kakashi did? In all honesty he couldn't even blame Aya for wanting intimate company when he was away; she wasn't cold blooded like he seemed to be. No, he wasn't angry, he was relieved.

Finally he was free from being entrapped in a marriage he hadn't even wanted in the first place. Of course there would be repercussions but definitely not on Kakashi's side, it seemed Aya deemed it worth while putting up with the consequences that her clan had in store for her just so that she could feel loved every once in a while. How could he blame her?

Later that day he'd been informed that the little girl he never really saw was not actually his. Again, he wasn't surprised; the child and him looked nothing alike. Nor had they really bonded enough for Kakashi to be that upset. He also tried to convince himself that he was sad to see them pack up and leave a week later. But he wasn't, he was as close to happy as he could be; if not for himself then he definitely was for Aya and her child.

After informing Tsunade what had happened she signed him off duty for the night, much to his disappointment. So instead he decided to go for a drink, something he hadn't done in months. When he'd inevitably bumped into Gai and a few other old acquaintances, he didn't say a word about what had gone on, instead he enjoyed the night as best he could, for once letting his guard down.

* * *

The next day always made you regret how much you drank the night before. He felt like crap and even then that was an understatement. His head throbbed and he felt like he would throw up at any moment, god forbid someone mentioned food. For once all he wanted to do was stay in bed and not leave his, now deserted, three bedroom house. Sadly that was not what the universe had planned for him today when there was a tapping at his bedroom window. Pulling back the curtain did nothing good for his headache; another nice day in Konoha it seemed. A messenger bird stood on the window sill with a scroll attached to it's foot. No doubt about it...another mission.

It seemed a team needed back up at the Waterfall village; easy enough Kakashi reasoned. Sighing, he waved the bird away and rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He was showered and dressed within fifteen minutes, unlike his older self and old team mate who were always fashionably late. The mission was marked urgent anyway so it wasn't like he had all the time in the world. Sliding on his Hound mask, he teleported out of his house and made his way unseen to the village gates.

* * *

The mission had been a nightmare, when he got there the whole village was a wreck, massive holes scattered the ground and houses were either destroyed or on fire. One other man had been sent along with him as back up but it appeared that they were not even needed; the fight had been over for at least a few hours.

Casually stepping past the bodies that littered the floor he walked over to a group of eight people, sheltering under a nearby tree. They looked filthy and most were injured from the battle, but nevertheless, still on full alert. Three of them Kakashi recognized, one being an old comrade and friend and the other two his old students. What a coincidence. He was just glad that two of the three didn't know who he was. He glanced over the raven haired boy and the pinkette with a frown. They didn't look like they had fared well in this battle, hadn't Naruto said that Tenzou seemed to be focusing on Sakura more than the other two? Where was Naruto anyway? Surely this was a team mission.

"Senpai!"

Kakashi turned and nodded at Tenzou, signaling him to follow so that they could talk in private.

"What happened here?"

"We were attacked by four rouge nin, apparently former jounin of the Waterfall Village. They were too powerful for only us to handle, and it didn't help they had the home field advantage. Most managed to flee the village but many were killed or injured, it was only thanks to..." Yamato paused and looked away from Kakashi to stare at the massive waterfall to his right. "Thanks to Naruto that any of us survived."

Kakashi clenched his teeth, he was worried about what he would hear next. He prayed the boy was alright.

"Where is he?"

The brunette looked down at the ground. "I don't know, he ran after the remaining enemies after they stole something sacred from the villagers."

Kakashi, keeping the turmoil he felt tightly on lock down, gave a stern nod and signaled for his partner to scout the area for any fresh traces of Naruto or enemy.

"Tenzou, tend to the wounded, we will search and eliminate the enemy," he wanted to say that he would find Naruto but he had his suspicions that he needn't have to tell the mokuton user for him to understand the meaning behind Kakashi's words.

As the ANBU made his way to scout around the waterfall edge he heard whispers from a familiar voice directed at Tenzou. "Who is that man sensei? I'm sure I've seen him somewhere before."

Kakashi cringed as he knelt down to trace his fingers over a bootprint left in the ground, at least an hour old he suspected. It was entirely possible that Sakura could have seen him on duty upon one of the rooftops back in the village but he pulled his hood up to cover his silver hair as precaution. He couldn't afford for any of his old team to recognize and reveal his identity...especially to Naruto.

The sun was setting by the time the two men had managed to track down the enemy. The report had said there were four rouge nin yet here there were only three here; two men and a woman. Where was the fourth? And more importantly, where was Naruto? He prayed that he'd been sensible and returned to his team but somehow Kakashi couldn't quite convince himself that he believed that.

The enemy were rather easy to eliminate, well at least they were to Kakashi; he could see why his old team would have struggled though. He hadn't even met the leader so he couldn't judge quite yet. Only when they managed to make it to the cave that had supposedly been a meeting place for the rouge nin (according to one of the dying men) it wasn't what either of them had expected. The place was practically destroyed, there was blood on the floor and walls of the cave and as the two men ventured further in they noticed a blond boy dressed in orange kneeling in front of a pile of rocks.

Kakashi had to use all of his willpower not to rush over there at the first sight of his beloved jinchuuriki. He feared that Naruto had not made it through the fight but as he slowly edged toward the boy he noticed that he was awake, staring at the big pile of rocks. His clothes were filthy and tattered, blood stains along his chest and arms, rips from where he'd been struck but yet no wound could be seen underneath. Blood spattered his face, most of it smudged over his whiskered cheeks from where Naruto had clearly wiped his tears away.

The boy didn't turn to look at who had shown up, Kakashi was just glad that it was them instead of the other three formed jounin; ANBU may look vicious but this time they didn't have malicious intent toward the boy. Kakashi knelt down next to the traumatized genin, a look of concern hidden behind his mask.

"Naruto?" The blond didn't show any sign of acknowledging Kakashi. "Do you know where the enemy went?" Kakashi needed to know, for all he knew the three of them could be in severe danger.

A minute went by where nothing was said, the boy still staring ahead of him, barely blinking, his pupils full blown. Then he nodded slowly, gaze never wavering. "The rocks..."

It was all Kakashi needed to know what had happened with sick realization just where the splattered blood on Naruto's face had come from. On closer inspection of the rocks he could see a pool of blood seeping out to stain the dirt underneath his feet. He looked up and it was rather obvious that part of the cave had collapsed, narrowly missing Naruto, instead hitting the man and crushing him beneath several tonnes of rubble.

Kakashi swallow hard...this was an all too familiar situation. Turning away he hauled Naruto to his feet and slung him over his shoulder; the boy soon passed out, most likely from chakra exhaustion and shock. They should get out, it wasn't safe; the cave could collapse at any minute.

The two ANBU delivered Naruto back to the Waterfall village, their mission complete. As much as Kakashi wished he could have taken the blond straight to Konoha hospital, it was not part of his mission so instead he was forced to leave the boy with his team, a handful of medic nin and chunin that had been sent and then make a quick departure back to the village to report the success of the mission.

He glanced over at the boy a few meters away, who had been almost completely healed by Kyuubi but had yet to fully recover from the shock. The kid was looking back at him, his blue eyes the shade of the ocean in the light of the setting sun. Even under all the grime and blood he still looked beautiful. Kakashi turned his head away and made his leave.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.  
> Pairings: KakaNaru  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

For the past month Kakashi had been silently keeping track of Naruto when he was officially off duty; it's not like he had anything better to do in his free time now. He almost convinced himself that it wasn't stalking and it wasn't in the slightest bit creepy. His attempt at keeping well away from Naruto seemed to have slipped out of his grasp and disappeared down the drain. He sighed out of disappointment for himself...so much for impeccable self control. Self control didn't seem to be a thing when Naruto was involved in his life.

He tried telling himself that Naruto  _wasn't_  involved in his life but when the blond took up 90% of his thoughts he couldn't exactly deny it; especially when he was constantly worried that Naruto had not been recovering very well from the cave incident. It was only recently that the kid had been made fit for duty again; at least to head out on missions with his team anyway. If Kakashi could observe him from afar then he didn't have the constant need to interact with the blond, it was a fair deal he'd somehow made with himself.

Crouched in a nearby tree, Kakashi watched Naruto retreat to his apartment for the night, the dim lights flickering on behind the closed curtains. At least now he was reassured that Naruto was safe at home for the night so that he didn't get the nagging feeling something was wrong through the whole of his shift. He took one last look before backing off to get ready.

The night dragged on even though he was less restless than the previous nights of constant 'what if's' that plagued his thoughts more often than not. Humming to himself he peered at the village lights surrounding him in all directions; the village had definitely grown in the years since the last shinobi war, that he was glad of but even then, the bigger the village, the more danger it attracted. Logic aside, Konoha at night brought a sort of peaceful atmosphere with it, especially with a clear night like tonight. The thousands of stars that spread out over the night sky twinkled and the full moon shone and lit the tree tops of the nearby forests. Kakashi would have said it was a very romantic setting, much like one of the scenes in his book, yet he was alone so he couldn't admit to such a thing.

"I never had a chance to thank you." A gravelly voice, just above a whisper.

Ah...not alone then. How ironic that it had to be him of all people. Kakashi didn't turn around, instead he lowered his head from looking at the stars to look at the concrete below him.

Footsteps interrupted the silence as Naruto came and sat at the edge of the roof, legs dangling over the edge. Kakashi remained standing, he focused on the soft blond hair, almost silver in the moonlight.

"I'm glad you were the one who came for me...it's taken me a long time to recover," he silently admitted. His blue eyes raised to focus on the eye holes of the Hound mask. "But I think you know that."

Kakashi was the one to look away this time. "I don't know what you mean. A mission was assigned to me and that was what I carried out; it did not matter whether it happened to be you in that cave or someone else, I would have reacted the same way and treated the situation at hand with complete professionalism. It was a mission, not a voluntary act to come and save you in particular, especially when you clearly disobeyed your team and deliberately put yourself in danger when there was no need."

Naruto glared at the man, his brow furrowed. "It was necessary to go after them! I wanted to go after them! They...they took something  _sacred_  from the village, I  _couldn't_ let them get away with it."

"And that there is your problem Naruto, what is necessary and what you  _want_  to do are two completely different things. It was not necessary to go after them, what was necessary was to remain with your team and keep the remaining villagers safe. You should have stayed with them and waited for backup so that you could give the  _necessary_  information so that more experienced shinobi could track the enemy down. It was not your mission to risk your life Naruto, there's a reason genin are not sent on anything higher than a C-rank mission."

"W-What?!" The blond shouted, jumping to his feet to stand facing Kakashi. "And it's your priority to risk your life?! How is your life any less valuable than mine or someone elses?! Don't make me laugh, sure you carried out your mission with the utmost 'professionalism' but don't pretend not to know what you've been doing since then! I know you've been following me, so don't give me all this shit about how it wouldn't be any different if it were me or not because I highly doubt you'd treat other people like this! Or was that just another mission?!" Naruto was breathing heavily now. Kakashi was dumb struck, how had Naruto known he was following him, had he really been that obvious? "A-and sometimes you need to do what your heart and gut tell you to do instead of what some writing on a scroll tells you to do. Sometimes doing what you want to do  _is necessary_..." Naruto turned his head away and closed his eyes, his shoulders slumping almost in defeat. He muttered something under his breath.

The silence between them was tense. Kakashi didn't know how to reply to the boy in front of him, how he had been an idiot for letting slip of his emotions and potentially putting his identity at risk. And he was right...following Naruto was not professional and no he would not be doing it if it were anyone else.

"Yes, it is my priority and my job to risk my life for the protection of this village, and yes my life has less value than yours."

Naruto clenched his fists by his sides, clearly restraining the need to hit or grab the man stood so calmly, almost nonchalantly, in front of him. "GRRRR why cant you just-!" He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his rage, managing only to lower is voice this time. "Why can't you just take that mask off..."

"You know I-"

"Oh just shut up!"

Naruto stormed off, walking briskly to the other side of the roof. "And stop following me!" Kakashi saw the kid bounce off the roof and sprint away.

The silver haired man hadn't realized he'd been biting his lip, only now noticing the blood dampening the fabric of his mask. He was internally screaming, anger at himself for being so  _fucking stupid_. He knew he should never have even spoken to the boy again, should have asked Tsunade for a year long mission somewhere far away, anything other than getting involved with the blond again. It did neither of them any good, all he did was upset Naruto and fuck everything up. That's what Kakashi was. A fuck up; that was why every one he loved was gone or dead, he was cursed. Kakashi tried, he really tried to stop the tears falling down his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has faved/followed and reviewed this fic so far, waking up and seeing people actually interested in something I've written really makes my day. :) I'm sorry if updating is a bit slower over the next week; it's just that I'm away from home to see family so there's always someone looking over my shoulder or needing my attention but I promise I'll update when I can! Thank you again!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.  
> Pairings: KakaNaru  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
> 
> A/N: Even though updates have been a bit slower than usual, I've not given up on this story, I've just been busy so please bare with me, I promise I'll update whenever I have the chance to. :)

Eight months. Eight long months had passed since he'd last spoken to Naruto. He could have said eight months without seeing the blond jinchuuriki but that would be a lie, only because he did often see him around the village but Naruto either never noticed him or refused to acknowledge his existence. Quite frankly it was getting to Kakashi more than he'd like to admit, in fact it was driving him mad. It was painful to see him interact with everyone he knew with such carefree words and an open heart and yet Kakashi was left in the shadows; outside of the circle of people Naruto felt anything for.

He stayed true to the words he'd told himself  _that_  night, he promised he'd give up following Naruto for his own satisfaction. Only now he really had no one to speak to, or rather he had no inspiration to speak to anyone else on a friendship level; he felt utterly alone and he hated it and he hated to admit that he hated it.

The talk with Tsunade had gone well, she was reluctant to let one of her best shinobi go but she finally agreed to assign him to a year long mission to the land of Wind, to help out with important diplomatic business; his job being to protect the higher ups he would be accompanying from Konoha in case of assassination. If things went well he'd been told to take on a new team to train.

He had one week left in Konoha to get his things packed and various other things sorted. Not that he really needed that amount of time, he was tempted to leave now but orders were orders. In the mean time he'd asked for a few more ANBU missions to keep himself busy, luckily his request was acknowledged and he was given regular guard duty; nothing too dangerous they'd said.

So here he was, standing on his regular rooftop in the middle of the village on a night much like the night Naruto had shown up and thanked him for something that Kakashi would have done in a heart beat regardless of what his orders were.

"I'm sorry," a quiet voice, still so familiar but one he'd not heard properly for almost a year. Heh, caught off guard again Kakashi mused.

This time the ANBU turned his head to look at the boy, moonlight silhouetting his figure. Kakashi's throat felt dry at the sight of the teen.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

Naruto strolled over to the taller figure, stopping when he stood close enough that Kakashi could reach out and touch the boy who he no longer felt was real; he could be a figment of his imagination for all the man knew.

"I do...I'm sorry for being a dick. What I said...it was out of order."

The kid once again sat down on the edge of the roof, only this time Kakashi joined him, a silent gesture that told the blond he was forgiven.

A sad smile appeared on Naruto's lips as he looked at the Hound mask. "Hound huh?" He chuckled quietly.

Kakashi looked at the boy sideways. "Is something funny?"

"Ah no...no it's nothing...I just...ah no," he stumbled over his words and beamed at him. "I'm just glad we're talking again, it's good to see you properly after so long. I uh..." He blushed a deep shade of red. "I missed you."

"You barely know me Naruto."

Naruto frowned. "Well maybe not as much as...uh maybe I could get to know you? I have this awesome new jutsu I learned maybe I could show you?...You could help me improve it if you...like?" He was still blushing deeply.

Kakashi wondered what the boy was up to, was he trying to...flirt? It had been a long time since someone had flirted with Kakashi.

"Uh..."

"I mean it's cool if you don't want to!" The boy chuckled giddily and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "I just thought that maybe...Y'know maybe you'd be proud of me if you saw it."

Kakashi sat silently, thinking this through. It was a bad idea, he didn't think he could resist Naruto if their training session got a bit to...physical.

"No." That was put more bluntly than he would have liked and he could see Naruto's smile drop. "I mean...I would like that and I appreciate the offer but I don't think...I don't think..." He took a deep breath, trying to force the words out. "It's just that, I'm going away so..." He shook his head, now finding it hard to believe he was chucking this opportunity away. Maybe Naruto was genuinely interested in him, maybe he wanted to...no the boy didn't even know who he was speaking to. But if he did...If he knew what he was getting in to then Kakashi no longer had any reason to say no to the blond.

Naruto frowned, blush now gone. "You're going away?"

Kakashi nodded. "Yes I have a mission to attend to in the land of Wind for a year, maybe longer."

"W-what?! No! You can't go!"

Kakashi was rather shocked at the reaction he received. Why was Naruto so bothered now when they hadn't even spoken in eight months?

"Calm down Naruto. I have to do it, it's the mission that was assigned to me."

"No! Please you have to stay, I need you."

Kakashi sighed and stood up, putting distance between the two of them.

"You don't need me, you don't know me, you don't know anything about me."

Naruto, looking defeated, rose to his feet as well, not looking at Kakashi anymore. "Right, ok.."

If it were anyone else he would have brushed them off and dismissed them, showing as little concern for their emotions as possible but this was different, he genuinely cared what Naruto felt. It almost felt like a crime against all that was holy to deliberately hurt this boy.

"I won't be gone forever, I'll be back again when the mission's over, maybe then you could show me some new techniques you've mastered."

What a poor attempt at cheering someone up. Great going Kakashi.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning," Kakashi said with a hint of an apology, never looking away from those bright blue eyes, burning them into his memory in dread that he would ever forget them.

"Do you think that we could talk for a bit longer? It's just that I don't want to go home quite yet and well...everyone else is in bed." Naruto questioned hesitantly, with a hint of sadness and uncertainty.

"Sure," this time Kakashi remained standing while Naruto lay flat on his back and looked up at the stars.

"Do you have a have a girlfriend or a wife, Hound?"

"No," Kakashi said nonchalantly, briefly considering whether he should have mentioned his ex-wife but decided against it. The kid was just being curious.

"What about a boyfriend?"

"No, but even if I did do you think I'd tell you?"

Naruto snorted with laughter. "I guess not, you've always been pretty secretive."

Kakashi frowned, they'd only ever spoken a few times yet Naruto was talking as if they'd known each other forever.

"I used to have a boyfriend," Naruto said factually. Kakashi cringed, he really didn't want to know of the escapades between Naruto and Sasuke. "I thought I loved him at one point; I thought he was the one..."

Frowning, he turned to look at the figure stood to the right of him.

"But I found out it wasn't actually him I loved."

"Who was it that you mistook your love for Sasuke for?"

Naruto smirked. "It would be too easy if I just outright told you."

"I'm not guessing if that's what you want me to do," as much as Kakashi wanted to know it probably wasn't all that a good idea anyway.

"Hmm...no but I do want you to answer me one thing..." The boy was now sat up facing him.

"I'll answer if it's within reason."

That wicked smirk was still plastered on Naruto's face. "So tell me how you knew it was Sasuke when I didn't even mention a name?"

Kakashi shrugged, giving off the complete opposite impression of what he was feeling inside. He wanted to slap himself for becoming too comfortable around the boy to not even notice the kid hadn't mentioned a name. Fuck.

"News spreads quickly in this village."

"Yeah but you don't seem like the type to listen or even memorize irrelevant, barely worth knowing, gossip... _Hound_."

Silence.

"Or maybe we should start calling each other by our real names shall we...Kakashi."

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._

"I don't know who you think you're talking to but-"

Kakashi was interrupted when the blond teen forced the older man to face him and snatched the ANBU mask from his face. The two stared at each other, for once Naruto was almost impossible to read but Kakashi however, was like an open book, shock and everything he'd been feeling since he parted from the boy, wide open for anyone to pick apart.

He couldn't move, his muscles refused to work because the one person he had ever truly loved, the one who owned his heart and still does, was stood mere inches away from him. Their bodies so close, their breath mingling (when had Naruto pulled down his mask?); Kakashi was sure Naruto could hear how fast his heart was beating behind his rib cage.

And then, finally, after so many agonizing minutes, or was it hours, Naruto closed the gap between them; soft, warm lips pressed again cool, dry ones. Arms snaked around Kakashi's waist, trailing lightly up the contours of his armour. Kakashi was in bliss, the onslaught of his thoughts and feelings too much that he hadn't even reacted; he couldn't.

It had ended as quickly as it had begun; Naruto pulled away and took a few steps back, believing himself in the wrong for kissing his ex-sensei. The lack of reaction from the older man had probably seemed like he wasn't interested.

"Im sorry-"

Kakashi lunged, not allowing Naruto to finish his sentence as he took the other in his arms, pressing their lips together in a ferocious kiss, teeth clanging against each other, hands roaming each others bodies. Kakashi moved from Naruto's mouth to trail small kissed and bites down his jawline to lick and suck at the tender flesh of the blonds throat. The noises Naruto was making were beautiful, drawing feelings and emotions forth from Kakashi that he hadn't felt in a very long time.

Just as they started to gain more heat between them, Kakashi fully intending to take the blond right here and now on the roof, the younger of the two backed off. He looked utterly disheveled and it sent a jolt straight to Kakashi's groin just looking at him.

"Are you ok?"

Naruto nodded, trying to catch his breath. His hair was messy, his pupils were fully blown and a pink tinge coloured his cheeks; if that wasn't a sign that he was horny as fuck then the very visible bulge in his trousers was, Kakashi mused.

"Yeah...It's just I think we need to talk before..."

Kakashi swallowed, he didn't want to lose Naruto a second time; as much as he knew he deserved it after everything he'd done. He gave a stern nod, willing his body to calm down.

"I have some questions-"

Kakashi mentally berated himself, of course he had questions, but the silver haired nin didn't think he was in the right frame of mind or even prepared to answer any of these to the best of his ability right now. So much had happened in such a short amount of time and he was still trying to wrap the facts around his head.

"Naruto. I have no right to ask this but please, I need some time to get my head straight. Perhaps we can talk at your apartment when I finish my shift?"

Naruto looked away but nodded slowly.

"Yeah...I'll see you then."


	11. Chapter 11

Kakashi stood in the bare living room of Naruto's cheap apartment. It was the middle of the night and the hanging light bulb barely managed to light the small room, flickering before it gave a small 'pop' and submerging the two figures into darkness.

"Uhh, you need a new light bulb..."

Kakashi didn't receive a reply so instead he took off his Hound mask and chucked it on to the nearby sofa; it wasn't like he needed it anymore.

"So, uh-"

"Why did you do it?"

Kakashi pondered the question, he'd done a lot of things to Naruto, he assumed he was referring to why he left him in the first place but for all Kakashi knew Naruto might not even have his memories back.

"Could you be more specific?"

"Why did you leave me? You knew I loved you and you knew I was scared that you'd not want me anymore," it sounded like Naruto was trying his best to keep himself together.

"I did it because..." Looking back now Kakashi could hardly believe he agreed to do it in the first place, he realized now that Naruto came before everything else; Naruto was the most important thing in his life, if he could go back in time now he'd give the village up in a heartbeat for Naruto. "I did it because I was an idiot. Tsunade had made an agreement with another clan; she was adamant that they partner up with the village, so in turn she agreed that one of her shinobi would marry one of the leaders daughters. She picked me at their request and of course the council decided they'd like to get involved so.." Kakashi sighed, clenching his fists in anger at the mere thought of the memory. "They made it compulsory that I marry Aya and raise a child within the first two years of our marriage. Apart from that never worked out.

At the time I believed that I was doing it for your happiness, so that you could live a life where you found love with someone your own age, so you wouldn't have to constantly feel like I was pushing you away or too ashamed to tell anyone about us. I thought that if I made you forget, then things would sort themselves out, I would be safe in the assumption that I would be able to keep my rank and not be exiled from the village but in doing that I'd suffer while you wouldn't have any memory of what had happened between us. To see you happy was all I ever wanted and I pushed you away because I didn't deserve you."

Kakashi heard footsteps cross the room and then a flip of a switch to turn the small lamp in the corner on. Naruto stood with is back to Kakashi; he had yet to say anything and it was nerve racking. Could the blond forgive him?

"You had no right to decide what would or wouldn't make me happy," Naruto whispered. "You made me happy...we deserved each other."

Kakashi felt ashamed of his action, he wished he could go back in time and change things but he knew that that was not a possibility, he had to try his best to mend that gap between the two of them now.

Naruto turned around to face Kakashi, tears in his eyes. "Did you ever love me? Why did you avoid me? For so long I felt more for you than I thought I should, I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself...I was confused so I never told you, it was never a possibility to tell you how I truly felt and yet you knew all a long, you knew what had happened between us!"

Kakashi pressed his palms over his eyes, he was trying to keep himself calm. How could he have been so stupid? He should have known that even though Naruto couldn't remember, the feelings still remained; how could the kid explain that to himself, let alone to his own sensei?

"And yet you just stood by and watched... _watched me_ , get closer to Sasuke, and you didn't even-!" Naruto's voice cracked, finally the hurt he felt inside was too much and the tears broke free. He sobbed. His body racking from the force of his emotions.

Kakashi reached out hesitantly and took Naruto by the arm to pull him close in a hug. Wrapping the shivering boy in a tight embrace, he kissed his head in a comforting manor as Naruto bawled into the jounin's shirt.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, please believe me when I say that it wasn't my intention to do so. Of course I loved you, I never stopped and I never will, I was selfish and what I did to you is unforgivable but I want you to know that you alone own my heart Naruto," he took the blonds face in his hands, raising the boy's head slightly to look him dead in the eye. "Nothing else matters to me but you, I live for you, when I'm apart from you it's like I can't breath. You're my air Naruto, without you I can't live and I may as well not because life would be pointless. It would be bleak and I know this already because that's the life I've been living for the past two years."

Kakashi kissed Naruto lightly, lovingly on the lips. "I'm sorry," He kissed him again. "I'm so, so, so, so sorry."

Naruto's chest is raising and falling with heavy breaths now, staring at the man in front of him with tears in his eyes. His lips parting, like he has so many things to say, to explain but can't find the words, not now, not here, not when the man, he too, lived for was stood in front of him, as real as anything. The blond was the one who initiated it, pressing his lips ferociously against Kakashi's in a heated kiss.

Two strides forward and Kakashi has Naruto up against the wall, his orange jacket unzipped and halfway down his arms. The jounin, ravishing Naruto's jawline, his neck, his shoulder, and suddenly there is a knee pressed between the blonds thighs and Naruto audibly moans, failing to bite back the most erotic noises Kakashi had heard in a long time.

Naruto is trembling against Kakashi, his fingers skimming over the smooth planes of the ANBU armour, attempting to remove the layers of fabric keeping them from the blissful friction that they both sought. In Naruto's desperate haste to strip both of them, Kakashi couldn't help but wonder how long Naruto had wanted this, or rather  _needed_  this. Probably as much as the jounin himself.

Groaning in what sounded like part desperation and part frustration, Naruto's fiery, lust-filled eyes met Kakashi's equally heat fueled gaze. Stepping back, Kakashi slowly pulls Naruto through the hallway, unclipping the armour on the way, heavy thuds mingling with the sound of their heavy breathing as the metal hits the wooden floor.

Naruto is now sprawled on the bed, still fully clothed sans the jacket, wimpering from the lack of contact. Kakashi's gaze lingered over the blond, hardly able to believe that this was happening; he'd missed this so much. The mans clothes are quickly disposed of by Naruto's frantic, trembling hands, his hips jerking against the man on top of him. Kakashi shudders at the friction, heat undulating in his belly as he grinds back down against Naruto, nipping at the tender flesh of the blonds throat.

The silver haired man makes slow work of removing Naruto's garments, fingers trailing down rough fabric, caressing tender flesh with his finger tips as he slips Naruto's T-shirt up and over his head. Both are panting now, the younger no longer trying to hold back his moans as Kakashi pulls the boys boxers down, exposing his sensitive cock to the cool air.

And then there is no cloth, no barrier between them and their bodies are against each other, the heat between them so intense it felt like forever since either of them had had anything like this. Slow, sensual kisses and firm thrusts, whispered names and heavy breathing, loving caresses, desperate groping and both were in bliss.

The night went quicker than either of them had liked, both knowing that the older of the two would be leaving at dawn. Rolling off of Naruto, panting heavily, Kakashi thought back to the conversation they'd had a few hours before, frowning. He wished he'd never requested to leave the village now, as he peeked over at the sleeping blond next to him. The light of the alarm clock on Naruto's bed side table flashed 5:07am in big red numbers. Kakashi sighed, he had to start getting ready in an hour.

"I don't want you to go," a quiet mumble from the usually loud, obnoxious blond. Kakashi pulled him close, Naruto resting his head on the jounin's chest.

"I know, neither do I."

The two lay in silence for the next few minutes, basking in each others mere presence, everything at peace for the first time in what felt like forever. Frowning, something occurred to Kakashi; he hadn't actually asked how Naruto had managed to regain his memories.

"Uh, Naruto?"

"Mmmm?" The blond hummed, snuggling closer to Kakashi.

"How did you manage to regain your memories? I'm pretty sure only people with the Shar-" Kakashi wanted to facepalm, of course..."Sasuke..."

Naruto chuckled. "Yeahh it was kind of an accident actually, you see, Sasuke had me up against the wall and-"

"Naruto! I uh, I actually really don't want to know!"

Naruto laughed out loud, leaning over to give the other a kiss as an apology.

"How did you know it was me when I was Hound? I made sure that my identity was well hidden, I mean...How?" Kakashi shook his head in confusion.

Naruto shrugged.

"Hinata."

* * *

Two figures walked down the sunny street of Sunagakure, hand in hand, one speaking enthusiastically, bouncing about and pointing in various directions in excitement and the other, book in hand, chuckling at the sunny blond.

Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So...finally finished, I literally couldn't decide how I wanted to end this fic, I literally had three potential endings to this! I'm sorry this chapter took longer to post but I've been so busy lately and I'm really sorry if it didn't meet everyone's expectations, I've probably missed some things out so if anyone has any questions I'm more than happy to answer them. Regarding the 'sex scene', I didn't really feel like making it TOO explicit so I also apologize to the people who were expecting a lot more!
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Also, GUYS...KAKASHI'S FACE REVEAL THOUGH!


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